You may not believe this, but I’m actually a whiz in the garden. (Except for mowing.)

When I was younger I once grew a corn plant. It was doing really well. It has a cob of corn and everything. Then the fuck-o monkeys that lived in the jungle behind our house picked the cob, ate half of it and threw it on the ground next to the uprooted corn plant. Gutted.

I think my chances are somewhat better now that I live in a country that has no crop-eating monkeys!

Our new house came with a built in vege patch. Score. So last Saturday I spent a good hour weeding and aerating the soil. This weekend I intend planting some stuff in there.

A lot of people have given suggestions of things to grow…My policy is as follows: If you can’t eat it or smoke it I’m not interested in growing it. To quote Monty from Withnail and I:

“I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is, you’ll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot.”

I won’t be growing carrots. I will be growing:

• Herbs
  • Coriander
  • Basil
  • Oregano
  • Thyme
  • Rosemary
• Veges
  • Tomatoes
  • Courgettes
  • Silver-beet

A modest, yet satisfying selection. Perhaps there are gardening types out there who would be kind enough to suggest some additions to my little editable patch of goodness?

I’ll be posting photos of the process on Flickr - hopefully it’ll be as riveting as I imagine it in my head.